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<p>I never saw it coming!<br>
The moments of darkness.<br>
It was like lightning…<br>
That stuck my brain in two,<br>
And inflicted Monstrous Pain…<br>
A pain I can't grieve, but I can brief.<br>
A pain that cuts deeper into my heart.<br>
The pain that gave birth to a demon inside me.</p>
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<p>My chest hurt, in short bursts.<br>
A feeling I hope never happens to you.<br>
Fueled by a combination.<br>
A mixture of emotions and trembling,<br>
A blend of despair and meltdown.<br>
No one knows them!<br>
Moments of drowning and tiredness…<br>
Moments of hallucination and sleepless nights.<br>
Moments of endless broken heartedness and anxiety!<br>
Then the suicidal thoughts.<br>
That keep pushing me to the blade.<br>
And make me believe death is the only way to escape the pain.</p>
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<p>It's like my life is coming to a halt.<br>
I'm losing myself.<br>
Anger got the best of me.<br>
My heart died inside me…<br>
I've cried so many times.<br>
Sobbing in silence.<br>
Seeking deeper and deeper into fear and depression.<br>
Oppressed by my feeling…</p>
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<p>Belittled by the voices in my head.<br>
Silently screaming for help…<br>
Hoping for someone to hear,<br>
But my screams cannot be heard.<br>
Hoping and pleading it will stop.<br>
It always seems to, when it wants to!<br>
But, sometimes it seems unending,<br>
And my hopes slowly wither.</p>
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<p>There are times I feel so great.<br>
Like not a thing is going wrong.<br>
Like I'm on top of the world!<br>
But this feeling doesn't last or stay.<br>
At least, not for very long.<br>
For, there's always a crumb left on my plate,<br>
That quickly will unfurl.</p>
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<p>I am shattered!<br>
With varied feelings of being lost and with no way out.<br>
The feelings that push me to throw in the towel.<br>
In the midst of my darkest moments,<br>
I heard a whisper...<br>
“You matter”!<br>
“You are strong”!<br>
“That’s what I'm informed.”<br>
But, l do not see that strength…</p>
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<p>I try so hard to see the good,<br> That surrounds me every day…<br> But, I don't feel it as I should,<br> And my happiness always fades.<br> Still, I'll keep on living.<br> Trying so hard to hold my smile,<br> In a world that's unforgiving.<br> Even if it only lasts a while.<br> I know I can beat you Monstrous pain.</p>
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<p>#mentalhealthawarenessmonth</p>
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